By Rose Strong
Do you consider yourself shy? I have always been a bit shy in certain situations, although I’m good at hiding it. It takes tremendous work on my part to not exhibit shyness, which I consider to be my least favorite character trait.
According to the American Psychological Association, “Shyness is the tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions.”
I have all these symptoms. Not all at the same time, of course, but certain circumstances will drum up the butterflies in the stomach, cause me to break out in a sweat or fumble my words in the midst of trying to have intelligent conversation.
Like many other shy people, I can handle a one-on-one meeting. Job interviews aren’t typically a problem and neither is having a cup of coffee with an associate. However, networking in a large group can strike the utmost fear in me and bring on anxiety.
Determined to defeat the monkey on my back, I’ve done some research to see what others suggest for a way to better manage my shyness.
I could start on Twitter. John Muscarello tells us in his blog, Start Networking Today, that he makes it a point to contact folks on Twitter and shares a short introduction before arranging to meet for coffee. This sounds like a great way to get my feet wet.
CIO.com offers 12 steps for overcoming shyness in connection with professional networking. Meridith Levinson’s article entitled How to Network: 12 Tips for Shy People, suggests that a shy person start small and seek familiarity at events with those they already may know. This, she says, will allow them to feel more comfortable when approaching new people.
Levinson notes that shy people tend to meet someone and stay with them through the entire function. She suggests that we ask the people we are with if they know anyone else and if they would be comfortable making introductions. This reminds me of how LinkedIn works. We can all use it to ask others to make introductions to people we want to meet. Once an introduction is made, then we can follow Muscarello’s lead by meeting for coffee when the situation warrants.
Maya Townsend wrote an article for Inc.com’s blog; The Introvert’s Survival Guide to Networking. She offers interesting tips. One that stuck with me was to not have a goal to amass a huge online network, but to think about your network as a group you can depend upon; connect with them not only when you need them, but as they need you.
There are lots of articles out there for shy people who need tips on networking, so it’s not just an isolated few of us out who feel awkward and shaky when having to confront our inner demons. People make a living helping those of us who have these issues. Kim Monaghan, a career coach and syndicated columnist for TheWorkBuzz.com, shares a list of tips for anyone trying to break into networking for its professional gains without the flinch-factor.
There are several common themes to take from the experts.
Be who you are – Being the life of the party or the extrovert isn’t needed for networking. Being your authentic self will bring you more mileage.
Be prepared – Always work on some questions you may wish to ask others and be ready for the questions when they come to you. “What are your latest accomplishments in your current job?” or “What are you working on these days?” are pretty typical questions. Take time to write down a few of your latest accomplishments and practice saying them out loud. But more importantly, always turn the conversation around to be about the other person and how you might be able to help them.
Get out of your comfort zone – This doesn’t mean we have to be someone else and jump into a networking event as the most congenial attendee, but it behooves us shy folks to make an effort to meet new people. Set a goal to meet a minimum of two new people at your next social event. I’ve heard it said that it’s not the quantity of the relationships but the quality that matters.
Be genuine and generous – Being interested in others is the first step to gaining a foothold in a new relationship. Shy people often feel we don’t have much to bring to the table at a networking event, but offering someone your attention is seen as both genuine and generous. This is where questions will pay off!
Follow up or say thank you – It is especially nice to send out a thank you note or other handwritten note as a follow up. Let the person know that you are there to be of service. And don’t forget to connect with everyone you meet in person online on LinkedIn. It is a great way to keep in touch with people you meet and one of the most widely used professional networking tools in the country.
Feel free to share any tips on how you have overcome shyness. You’ll be helping me, of course, and countless others.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
By Rose Strong
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
By: Maggie Quinn
to start fresh with financial goals for the rest of the year.
tools to manage personal finances that Benny lacked.
This free app, available for Android and iOS users, is the overwhelming favorite among tech and financial blogs. Simply add your bank, credit card, home loan and investment account information and Mint creates a budget that is easily tracked and edited. The app also makes recommendations for areas in which users can save and warns when accounts are low. With bank-level security, Mint alerts users to any suspicious transactions with text messages and emails.
box of expense receipts? If so, it’s time to use Expensify. Tracking business expenses can be difficult, especially when traveling. With this mobile app, users can create expense reports through a photo log of receipts. Additionally, there is an option to connect most major credit cards including American Express, Chase, Discover and Bank of America to automatically generate expense reports as they occur.
Like Mint, LearnVest offers suggestions as to where to cut spending by looking at your accounts and spending habits. It takes this concept to the next level by offering access to Certified Financial Planners in three programs.
Betterment is an excellent tool for those who would like to begin investing but have little idea as to where and how to start. Its step-by-step program helps optimize portfolios by first teaching users about the markets and then directing them as to where to invest based on their financial goals and risk tolerance.
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
With their kids grown and out of the house, today’s Baby Boomers are living longer and are willing to spend on luxuries. More and more, this group is becoming Web-savvy and technology driven, either from remaining in the workforce longer and keeping up with technologies or sometimes out of necessity to keep in touch with family and friends.
Thursday, April 03, 2014
By Gina F. Rubel
During my presentation at the Legal Marketing Association Annual Conference in Orlando this week, I had the opportunity to speak alongside Kim Huggins, CEO of K HR Solutions, Inc. on Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and the Four Generations in the Workplace. We spoke about how legal marketers can harness their EQ and an understanding of generational similarities and differences to be more affective managing their marketing teams and getting the lawyers they serve to embrace marketing and new technologies.
One of my favorite parts of the program was when we broke out into groups to talk about how we, as marketers, could handle various scenarios.
Scenario 1: Lawyer Doesn't Know What a Podcast Is
You have landed an interview for one of your senior attorneys with a well-known online publication that also records and podcasts the interviews. This outlet reaches your firm’s target audience. How can you use emotional intelligence and generational understanding to successfully solicit buy-in from the attorney who doesn’t know what a podcast is?
Audience suggestions included:
- Have a reference point; provide examples to demonstrate the reach the podcast will have and the relevant demographics it will reach
- Explain how the attorney can repurpose the video and how it enhances the law firm brand
- Demonstrate value and explain limited costs
- Share the benefits - i.e. “what’s in it for me”
- Provide the attorney with case studies of other lawyers who have successfully leveraged podcasts in order to demonstrate peer validation
- Play off of the attorney's competitive spirit by giving examples of competitors using podcasts
- Make the attorney comfortable by providing coaching and media training so he or she is confident when using the medium
You have been asked why the firm’s website “doesn’t show up” in search engine rankings. You have decided that one way to increase SEO is to have all of the attorneys create robust LinkedIn profiles, take ownership and complete their Avvo profiles and join JD Supra. How can you use emotional intelligence and generational understanding in your law firm to successfully solicit buy-in from the managing partner who believes that all of the business comes from word-of-mouth and referrals?
The attendees who worked on this scenario almost all decided that the managing partner was a Baby Boomer. Here's how they decided to tackle this opportunity:
- Have an agenda to meet with the managing partner to discuss SEO
- Define what SEO is - many don't understand the term
- Demonstrate the value of SEO and why it matters
- Educate the managing partner on how to accomplish SEO
- Demonstrate the ROI of various platforms including LinkedIn, Avvo and JD Supra
- Feed into the competitive nature of lawyers by highlighting what other lawyer influencers are doing
- Share successes internally
- Utilize engagement tools
- Demonstrate competitive intelligence
- Provide time management resources and tools
- Give the managing partner an action plan
- Follow up with the managing partner to secure buy-in
If you want to follow our conversation, jump on Twitter and check out the hashtag #LMA14.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
By Rose Strong
They say elephants never forget. I used to have the memory of an elephant, but no more.
Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you’re there? Do you ever say, “My mind is like a sieve?” In the midst of conversation, do you find you can’t recall a specific name or place or word? Do you worry that perhaps dementia or another old-timers’ memory thief may be creeping up on you? Don’t fret. It happens to all of us. As we age, our brains literally become full and need time to recall events, words and thoughts.
Our lives are busy caring for children, home, spouse, working a paying job, volunteering, being caregivers to aging parents, all while trying to carve out time for ourselves. These day-to-day duties all play a part in our occasional forgetfulness.
While researching this blog topic, I took this test to see how good my memory is right now. Try it for yourself. You don’t have to tell anyone your score! Click through and see the hints on how to keep your memory from fading.
Distractions, multitasking and everyday stress can cause us to forget little things, like stopping at the store for milk on the way home from work or recalling where we filed away those important tax papers we’d need in a few days. They can also make us forget the big things, like an important client meeting, forgetting a deadline on a project or not remembering it was your turn to pick up your child from an afterschool program.
According to Harvard Medical School’s Health Publications, unless forgetfulness becomes extreme and persistent, being forgetful is a normal part of aging. This article “Forgetfulness – 7 types of normal memory problems,” explains different types of memory problems that are considered normal and not a sign of a medical condition.
With our client roster here at Furia Rubel, we have many, many deadlines, so we are all about lists. Without some way to manage our projects and deadlines, we wouldn’t be as successful as we are. We’re very task oriented in completing our assignments for our clients.
Not only do we all manage tasks through our Outlook calendars, but we also use a project management system that specifies each step of a project. Some may seem like minutiae, but without this system, I don’t know where we’d be in getting our projects completed.
The National Institute on Aging, a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, offers insight on its web page, Forgetfulness: Knowing When to Ask for Help. Besides giving a rundown of normal age-related and other not-so-normal reasons for memory loss, it offers a nice list of tips on ways to keep your memory sharp.
Trusty pencil-written sticky notes on my desk or my computer screen help remind me to take something home. Stapling a piece of paper around the handles of my tote bag also works just fine.
My reminders on my Outlook calendar pop up all day long, since I have a multitude of jobs here at Furia Rubel, from taking mail to the post office, to keeping calendars for my associates, issuing press releases and monitoring media clippings, proofreading to minor account management, ordering office supplies, and even watering the office plants.
Here are some approaches other members of the Furia Rubel team use to remind them of the important details and appointments in their lives.
Gina F. Rubel, president and CEO of Furia Rubel Communications has similar methods of using her online calendar and the project management system, but in lieu of those, she sends herself emails to be sure to remember something important.
Gina explained, “If I don’t have access to my calendar or project management system, I simply use my cell phone or iPad to email myself items I wish to put on either of those places when I get to the office.”
Our Chief Marketing Officer, Laura Powers, has all her tasks listed in the project management system and prioritizes her jobs with a list in order of importance each morning.
“At home, we use a weekly whiteboard on the fridge that everyone's activities get put onto each Monday from our other calendars all around the house, including my husband’s, mine and the family calendar,” she said.
Sarah Larson, our Vice President of Public Relations, turns to tech for organization, making her iPhone the “Mission Control” of her work and home life. Calendars from Outlook, Google and iCal all sync to keep her work and family schedules straight. She uses the Paprika app for meal planning, grocery shopping and recipe organization, an “Errands” app to keep track of tasks to complete and even a “Sort It” app to track her ever-expanding collection of books.
“I used to make lists, but I’d write them on various pieces of paper or envelopes and they were never where I needed them, when I needed them,” Sarah said. “Now, everything is in my phone – which is great, unless I forget to charge it.”
Furia Rubel’s account manager, Kim Tarasiewicz is a self-proclaimed “list lady,” and finds it rewarding to check things off as they are completed.
“I also find that putting things on a list take them out of my mind temporarily so I can focus on what I’m doing at that moment while still knowing it’s written down so it will get done. On weekends I keep a list on the counter of what I want to accomplish,” said Kim.
Looking for a few apps to help tame the forgetful blues? There are plenty out there for both iOS and Android. I don’t currently use any app other than my calendar for appointments, bills or other important reminders. I also use the Notes, which mostly comes in handy for grocery lists as I often find my brain isn’t working much when I get out of work and simply wander the aisles in the store.
If you’re looking for ways to help your brain stay supple and alert, memory specialists recommend several tactics. Learning something new, such as how to play an instrument or how to sew or knit, helps keep the brain engaged, as does any craft or hobby. Doing word puzzles and even playing video games also can help to keep the mind sharp.
Along with ideas to help improve memory function, this article has a list of health-related symptoms and guidelines for when to seek medical help for memory loss.
Although it’s sad and often frustrating for me when I forget things, it’s nice to know that my elephant memory wasn’t supposed to last my entire life, and that I’m not alone and I can work at keeping my brain charged! How about you? Do you have any funny or memorable stories about not remembering something? Share in the comments! I’d love to hear about them.